Judgey Judgerson

I was recently reminded that I should ease off on making judgements, because I was, for a moment, THAT mom.

My back story is that I am pretty type A. I never miss appointments, am always 5 minutes early for things, I finish Christmas shopping in November and packing for any trip, no matter how short, is a 3 day event for me. I am always prepared for everything I do including possible contingencies. Unprepared people annoy me and while I avoid confrontation and would never say anything to a scatterbrain, inside I am thinking all sorts of snotty superior things and wondering what they use for a planner. Until LAST FRIDAY.

Friday I had a lot on my plate, but I was prepared. I was going to wake up at 5am and take the Boy with me to Northern Virginia while my daughter stayed at home with my mother. In Northern VA, I was going to arrive at my old townhouse by 8am to let the termite inspector since the house is under contract and required a second inspection. I was prepared with toys, snacks and a change of clothes for the Boy (I let him ride up in his fleece pjs since it was so early). The inspector had a 2 hour window to arrive and then I would head back toward home with the Boy, stopping in the town we are in the process of moving to for him to get a vaccine with his new doctor. I noticed that I had not written the vaccine time down on my to do list for Friday, but no problem, I remembered that I scheduled it for 11am. From there, I would be back home in Charlottesville by 1pm or so to collect my grocery pick up at Harris Teeter and back home in time for naps. No problem! I made a list the night before with everything I needed and packed accordingly…diapers, wipes, clothes for the Boy, books, toys, snacks, original termite report, drink etc.

I got to the townhouse just in time, ran the boy in snuggled close to me in his fleece pjs and waited almost the full 2 hour window for the inspector. During this time, Boy went through 3 diapers and I changed him from his fleece pjs into his clothes for the day. It was them that I realized that I had not packed shoes for him. Or a coat. And it was 7 degrees outside.

At this point I started to formulate a plan for how I was going to get him into the doctors office for his vaccine without them sending CPS after me for exposing him to the elements. I had already changed the appointment 3 times and needed to keep it. I decided I would wrap my own coat around him and go in coatless myself and hope no one noticed the bare-footedness. I’d make up a toddler bunion story if I had to.

After the all-clear from termite man, I raced back to the doctor’s office arriving 5 minutes late and about 20 minutes into the low gas indicator light. The receptionist looked at me funny, then back at the computer, and back at me. ’His appointment is for Monday’ she said with that tone and look I have given to other people so often (a little annoyed, a little pitty-ing). No wonder his appointment had not been on my to do list for Friday. I remembered all the disorganized people I had ever encountered and made some rambling excuse about how things were crazy and could they please fit me in. I was mortified but wasn’t too hard on myself. I had a lot going on after all.

I realized that we all have craziness that causes things to go haywire now and then — more now than then for some people, but it happens to all of us. Even me. I vowed to stop being such a Judgy Judgerson from then on.

I have been at Panera this afternoon having some much needed mommy time and before I took out my laptop to start a new post, this Judgina McJudgerelli walked past me with a major snoot face and was frantically looking for a booth. There were lots of tables but no booths. She snort snooted back to her friend and said LOUDLY glancing at me and standing about 2 feet away “Let’s just LEAVE! This is ridiculous! This place is just FILLED with STUDENT! They are not even eating a LUNCH! They are all just on their COMPUTERS taking up SEATS! There is not ONE booth AVAILABLE [long glare at me]“. I gave a glare, sigh and head shake in her direction but I avoided direct confrontation because I am a scaredy ‘fraidy cat. She stomped out commenting and complaining the entire way.

Not only HAD I eaten lunch but had a cookie too and am pretty sure that Panera was built on the fact that people come and park their butts here and work and graze all day. I was also in a single chair (not a booth or table). Why else are there free wi-fi and outlets lining the walls if not to attract us device-using booth hogs? What did I learn here:

1.) Don’t judge unless you have the full story. There is more to every situation than what you can see, even if the situation is a sock-footed 2 year old baby at the dr.’s office with no coat or a computer clad mommy with only a water bottle visible and a big footprint at Panera. Being a Judgepants McFudgepants is not cute.

2.) I am 38, graying with crows feet, but I look like a student to a snooty old bitch :o)

Bio: Susan Maccarelli is a temporarily-retired sales and account management professional who has been a stay at home mom since 2010. As mom to 2 toddlers, wife to a work-from-home husband and executive director of the Maccarelli family meals, activities, cleaning, laundry, shopping, real estate endeavors, travel and general errands, she derives constant inspiration for her blog, Pecked To Death By Chickens, from the little annoyances that pop up daily as she tries to keep an eye on all the moving parts.  Susan enjoys travel, reading, cooking and talking about herself in the third person.  In fact, Susan is writing this bio about herself right now.  Find her on Facebook and Twitter

Comments

  1. The phrase “toddler bunions” makes me want to have a toddler, just to find an excuse to use it again. Kidding aside, it’s great to be reminded to practice something we know we should but is so much easier to say than to do.

    • I’m sure you can work ‘toddler bunions’ into your everyday conversation even without them. Be creative. I catch myself being judgy a lot still (I probably should not have judged the Panera lady), but I get lots of reminders from the universe :o)

  2. Thanks so much for featuring me today! I was at Panera just yesterday and had a speech prepared in case I was insulted again. Alas, I didn’t get to use it.

  3. Some people really know how to ruin others’ days. It’s a good thing you didn’t retaliate. She wasn’t worth the trouble.

  4. Well, at least she mistook you for a student, as you said!! It’s good that you didn’t react; so not worth it!!

  5. Oh no, please don’t ever, ever come to my house. Or shadow me. You’d be horrified by my scatterbrainedness. (See, I’m so scatterbrained I can’t even come up with real words). Thanks for not judging me, because I already judge myself pretty harshly. (And I’m pretty sure the receptionist at our pediatrician’s judges me too.)

  6. I consider myself to be pretty type A, but I can’t seem to get the ‘packed three days before vacation’ part down ;). I always have a list in my head, but never seem to have enough time to get the list on paper–so I forget to pack things…sometimes, important things… Congrats on being called a student ;)!

    • Oh Anita, we can’t all be anal retentive and obsessive. :o) If I don’t write it on paper, I’d leave with a toothbrush and a pair of shorts. Maybe it would be better that way…

  7. I love this! I think we all find ourselves on both sides of this– the Judgey and the Scattered. It definitely is a good practice to remember that there is always a back story. Thank you for sharing this with us! Oh, and I’m so glad you passed for a college student. Win! :)

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